They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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