I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
