i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
