I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
