Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
