Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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