I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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