Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
