What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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