I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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