puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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