her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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