normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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