You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
