YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
