Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
