Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
