Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
