I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
