the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
