we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
