She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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