whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Panties = found
Randomize
