She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
