this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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