The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
i think my cat just said my name.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
