you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Did I show you my penis last night?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
