kristin has been a bad kristin
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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