hell yes lets make some ravioli
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
