I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
