he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
