I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
