my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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