what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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