dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
