So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
