We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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