i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
