You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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