Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
