its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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