4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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