remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
