Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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