Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
