quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
