This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
