I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
