We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
