im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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